Saturday, November 8, 2008

Adventures in Poetry



The glue sniffers and hookers the homos and he shes
I wake up in the morning wondering where is my tv
I go to my car in the dawns early light
I open the door and smile with delight
Climb in the seat and see the dome light is on
and you know it's a good day 'cause your battery's not gone
Charlton Heston will tell you have guns at the ready
But I needed no gun I had Mom and Aunt Betty
At night I'd return just to deal with the cops
The white car goes by and most often stops
Are you looking for drugs are you some kind of queer?
No, I'm just coming home because I live here
The Jews all scadoodled and left our commerce bare
Replaced by the Asians who made me the biggest guy there
From my abode in Pine Valley a better life I can't have
But I long for one day back on Kensington Ave

Monday, September 29, 2008

Adventures in Manhattan

This is not a scam. Years of associating with characters, cartoon and otherwise, have finally paid off. Below is a legitimate invitation from the folks at Disney.

We figured we could parlay a trip to NYC with a visit to "The American Girl Store". This has been Bailey's life long dream for at least the last five minutes.

Day One

After transportation, lodging and The American Girl Disney paid for everything. The movie, the popcorn and soda and the bus ride from the theater to the Plaza Hotel. The legendary Grand "ever lovin'" Ballroom at the Plaza Hotel. Gourmet food, festivities, celebrities and all the wine you could drink. It's ok, I was on my best behaviour.

Day Two





Sunday, July 27, 2008

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Saturday, May 31, 2008

Finally, a pet for Bailey

As you all know our side of the family is not known to cohabitate with the lessor species. My big sister did once get a dog for her son. I forget his name but he was a fine animal. He always remained faithful and loyal through thick and thin. For about ten minutes until he was evicted. Bailey has long been asking for a kitten or a puppy. In deference to the numerous gold fish and betas who have entered our lives through the front door and gone out through the soil pipe we wonder as most parents do. Will Bailey stay true to her promise and care for, clean up after and not lose interest in a puppy or a kitten? So, we decided to test her out. And what better animal for this task than cavia porcellus. The stout bodied, short eared, tailless domestic rodent, native to South America and often kept as a pet. An unfortunate animal who's common name is listed as a noun in Webster's meaning "a subject of research, experimentation, or testing". So without further eloquence I give you Angel the guinea pig.

The guinea pig formerly known as Princess. Also known as Ginger, Gina and Popcorn. Bailey Jean Zimmerman reserves the right to rename the guinea pig at any time without prior notice. We've had her for a few hours now so some name changes are to be expected. She comes with the "Petco" thirty day guarantee. So should the unspeakable happen in the next month I simply have to return the carcass to the store and she will be immediately replaced with another stout bodied, short eared, tailless domestic rodent, native to South America and often kept as a pet. Good luck Angel and God's speed. We're all pullin' for ya.

Hey, look, this shirt still fits me!!!


Tybee Island nineteen hundred and eighty eight. I can't wait 'till I'm old enough to tell the young folk what I was doin' back in aught seven.